


Give Me A Reason To Live

by MyLifeIsFullOfSurprises76



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dead Carla, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, F/F, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Fluff and Angst, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, M/M, Mild Smut, Physical Abuse, Rape, Romance, Sexual Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-03-19 17:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3618852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLifeIsFullOfSurprises76/pseuds/MyLifeIsFullOfSurprises76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hits me again, saying I was the reason for her death, I grew tired and my body was numb, too numb to feel the pain. But I wasn't numb to the fact that her very own son, killed his own mom, his flesh and blood. I could not do anything but cry and mourn. Everything, everyone was fading, and I will be left alone, Heck, even Mikasa and Armin are so distant to me now, they feared me.<br/>No one will love me because, I'm a murderer, a killer, a MONSTER.<br/>Eren Jaeger, a 17 year old boy and a junior on Titan School who has been abused by his father since he was 9, because of the death of his mom. People who used to be close to him are now distant. they rarely approach him, and if they do they would leave as how quick they came, even the school doesn't give a shit to what he do in his life.<br/>Until one day Eren had enough, he plans to jump off a bridge, and no one can stop him, because no one will.<br/>But he was proven wrong a stranger had stopped him from his attempt in his suicide plan. The stranger who saved him was, Levi Ackerman, the "School's Master" as to what they say. Eren wondered to why would Levi Ackerman save a nobody like him.<br/>Why did he save him? </p><p>Could he be the reason for Eren to live?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Help me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone, this is my first fic. I hope you'll like it. I will accept any criticism.
> 
> Thank you!!
> 
> And I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin nor of its characters.
> 
> See in the end for more notes

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

_**“Crawling up into daddy's lap** _  
_**when dad was still** _  
_**DADDY** _  
_**nodding my head against his chest soaking in the comfort of his heart** _  
_**LISTENING** _  
_**to the thump...thump** _  
_**somewhere beneath muscle** _  
_**and breastbone I remember his arms** _  
_**their sublime** _  
_**ENCIRCLING** _  
_**and the shawdow of his voice** _  
_**"I love you, little girl.** _  
_**Put away your bad dreams.** _  
_**Daddy's here"** _  
_**I put them away, Until Daddy became my nightmare that one that came** _  
_**HOME** _  
_**from work everyday and instead** _  
_**of picking me up, chased me far** _  
_**far** _  
_**away”** _  
_**―[Ellen Hopkins](http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2821144.Ellen_Hopkins), [Identical](http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3032810)** _

 

I went home right away after school, I don't want to socialize and meet the other students at school. It irritates me, THEY annoy me. They would judge on how I'd dressed or how I look. They would judge me of what I do, and I don't want it. So, after School I went home right away. I didn't tell my "friends" that I was going home

_'What for? They wouldn't even care anyway' I thought._

After he arrived, he opened the door slowly. He doesn't want Grisha to be awoken.  He walked slowly and silently.

_*Step**Step*_

_He passed the couch on which his father slept._

_*Step**Ste-CreaaaK*_

"Fuck," Eren silently cursed. Eren heard his father groan. I looked on my back and saw Grisha rising from the couch. I wanted to run upstairs, but I couldn't move. I was stuck to where I was, my legs began to tremble in fear as I heard father's footsteps coming closer. I gulped. Grisha was now infront or should I say at the back of me.

Before I can move Grisha pulled my hair harshly, and threw me in the ground.

"You piece of shit," Grisha exclaimes as he punched me in the stomach.

"If it wasn't for you, your mother could have been alive instead of you, but no, you drag her to her death. Now look at what you've done, you MONSTER," Grisha said. Grisha punched me in the face. It made my vision blur After, that he started to unzip my pants. I was quickly aware of what he was gonna do. I want to stop him of what he was gonna do but, my body is already weakening, and I can't move or do anything to stop him.

I shivered as I felt his dick went inside me, he went with great speed and force, there was nothing I could do, but cry. When he was done, he quickly zips his pants and went back to the couch to sleep. While I wait for my body to calm down for a bit.

When my body calmed down, I  quickly went upstairs and lock my room. I went to the bathroom to take a bath to wash the filth off my body. After I took a bath, I changed quickly and went to my bed, it was kinda hard for me to move.

When I arrived at my bed I lay down properly, and before I sleep, I muttered a small,

_"Help me"_

And Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2: Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you cared, just not enough.”  
> ― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone its me again. 
> 
> I hope you'll like the story.

**EREN'S P.O.V**

 

_7:10_

**_KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ **

I woke up at the sound of my alarm clock. As I got up my body felt sore, I went to the bathroom to take a shower. After taking the shower, I quickly got dressed and slung me backpack on my left shoulder.

 

I opened my door slowly, and went down the stairs silently. I tip-toed my way through the living my room, and I was near the door when I heard him groan. I quickly opened the door, and ran my way to school.

 

I keep on running, until I notice that I was far away from the house. I slowed down, and just walk 'till I arrive at school.

* * *

When I arrive at school, I could see that the other students looks at me and began talking to their friends.

 

_'Jeez, its not like I don't hear you anyway'_ I thought.

 

Hold on, its not that I'm famous or anything, but in School I was known as, "Suicidal Bastards" or "Rebel Orphan." I went to the cafeteria to avoid them.

I bought some toasts and orange juice as my breakfast. You might be wondering where I got the money right? We'll I have a part-time job at a coffee shop. My salary is enough to feed me for 3 days.

 

After I'm done eating, I went out of the cafeteria and decide to go to the English Literature building since its my first period. When, I was going there I saw Armin and Mikasa. I looked at them and they look at me. I decided to ignore them, and just walk away. They were my closest friends but they just left me out of the blue, they turned us 'friends' to 'end.' I just walk past them, when Armin greeted me.

 

"H-Hi Eren" Armin said nervously.

 

I just shrug at him at muttered a small 'hello' and continue to walk past him. I just keep on waliking when Mikasa threw into rage.

 

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS EREN!?!? WHY ARE ACTING LIKE A FUCKING ASSHOLE?" she shouted at me. I just shrug and continue to walk to prevent creating 'audiences.'

 

But it seems to infuriate her more. She hold on my arms harshly for me to look at her.

 

"MIKASA" Armin tried to stop her

 

"WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS EREN?????????!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WE WVER DONE FOR YOU TO IGNORE US?!?!?!?! ANSWER ME" I just stared at her. Her face became red with red.

"FUCK, EREN ANSWER ME YOU SHIT!!!!!!" I just continue to stare at her.

 

"Hmmp, seems like you won't answer us any of my answers anyway" She let go of my arms "Fine have it you way" _she said_ " By the way what you're doing is right Eren" _she said as she look at me_ " you should keep pushing all these people away from you" _I just stood there_ " Because you don't deserve them, and you won't deserve them" _I know what she'll say next,  but all I could do was stand_ " Because you're a MONSTER, a horrifying one" _When she said it, my chest tightened._

 

They turned their backs on me. How could they be like this when they are one the reason why this happened to me. But I just couldn't let them have the last words, not NOW.

 

" Says the people who promised me to take care and help me when I needed them, But where were they? O right, they just look and run away from me, letting me suffer and solve my problems alone. What kind of friends are they anyway? I give them my full trust, but look they just left me. Hahahahhhahaha. TRULY PITIFUL. They were the reason on why I couldn't trust people anymore. So. don't you all dare judge me.They are my friends how could they- oh that's right we weren't friends now because we came to and end. But I don't give a shit about it. But if you say that I don't deserve the people's kindness because I'm a Monster? Then fine I don't. But still if I'm a monster, my friends are devils, they try to act good at first, then they would leave after. I think they're the people who doesn't deserve the people kindness. But if you really don't want me to exist anymore then fine, be my guest" I said that loud enough for them and all to hear, I could see that all of them stopped but I couldn't control my emotions so I walk away, out of school without entering any of my periods.

I don't need to listen them anymore, I'll just end it. _It is what they want right?_

 

I noticed some people look at me like I'm stupid. _I don't give a fucking shit._

 

_But Eren failed to notice the eyes that had been watching him._

 

* * *

 

I got out of school, I ran away from people, I just keep on running 'till I saw a bridge.

 

I looked to see if some people are passing, but it seems no people passes her so I decided to do it right now. _Its my chance, they all want me gone, then I'll be gone._

 

I hold on to the sides of the bridge to help me up. when I was on the railings, I looked down at the bridge and saw that it was deeper. Perfect.

 

I guess this is good bye, huh? I won't be called 'Suicidal Bastard' anymore, instead it will be just 'Suicide.'

 

I closed my eyes ready to fall, when...

 

"Hey Brat, What the fuck are you doing?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry if my story is boring >.


	3. Chapter 3: My Hero(?) and Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.”   
> ― Karl Lagerfeld 
> 
> “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”   
> ― John Lennon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone, here's the third chapter hope you like it.
> 
> Our Darling Levi is really here ^0^

_**EREN'S P.O.V** _

 

_**"** Hey Brat, What the fuck are you doing?" _I heard a deep voice said. I turned my head around to look if someone is there, but I saw no one. ' _I must be crazy_ _'_ I thought to myself.

 

I focused my attention back at the bridge. Ready to fall. Ready to DIE.

 

When I still hear that voice calling me again. This time its a bit louder and nearer.

 

" Hey brat, I sad what the fuck are you doing?" I turned my head towards the voice.

 

The very first thing that I notice about him is that he has a jet black hair with an undercut, he was wearing a black t-shirt and pants, when I saw his face there was a scowl in it, I wasn't mistaken by it. It was 'HIM'. It was Levi Ackerman, a.k.a the _**"School's Master,"** _ as what I heard.

 

But what is he doing here? Is this his hideout or something?

 

I didn't realize that I was staring at him 'till he snapped his fingers.

 

"Hey brat did you hear me? I said what the fuck are you doing, you shit?" He spat at me.

 

_I frowned at him. Ok, is this guy stupid or what? Can't he really see what I'm trying to do?_ I looked at him for a moment before I answered him.

 

"Can't you see that I'm going to kill myself here, duh?!" I answered him. He frowned at me.

 

"Well shit Sherlock It's not like I don't know what you're trying to do, you dumb shit, I was meaning on what's your reason for you to want to kill yourself, jeez" he said that to me. I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment. _What the everloving fuck is wrong with this guy?!_

 

"None of your business, now would you please go away. And if you're trying to stop me, there is nothing you can do about it" I told him that. I saw him quirk an eyebrow as if he was amused by what I said.

 

"What if  I don't its not any of your business too anyway. And who told you I was gonna stop you from your idiotic suicide plan" I stared at him, he was un-fucking-believable. I grew tired of talking to him since he was so sarcastic about it.

 

"Fine, Ugh!!! If you wanna see then fine, If you wanna go, much better. I don't give a shit." I said to him. I turned my face to the bridge once more. _This was it, this is really fucking it._

I let go of the bar I was holding, and prepare myself to fall and die, but then, he was stopped . Stopped when two strong hands caught him before he fell.

 

"You shitty brat, who also told you to die when I'm here? Help me get you up. You're so fucking heavy" I looked on top of me to see Levi holding my other. He helped me get up the bridge. But when I did, I cried. _Why did he save me? Why did he catch me? Why did he let me live? Me, a killer, a murderer, a MONSTER._

 

"Oi brat why are you fucking crying?" he asked me. I looked at him with my eyes filled with tears full of different emotions. I didn't know what happened next, but all I see is that he- no, Levi Ackerman, hugging a MONSTER, like me.

 

"Listen brat, I'm not gonna say that you'll be alright, seeing the situation right now, but you have to be strong, in order to fight those problems and doubts. You hear me?" He said sternly, but kindly and softly. I nodded at him. He helped me stand-up, but then my vision starts to blur. I held my grip onto him tightly.

 

"Hey kid, you okay there?" I nodded, but when we started to walk, My head was spinning like crazy, and everything was so blur. My vision starts to blacken. I could hear Levi call me, but I couldn't answer him.

 

"Eren, I'll save you don't worry. You will never be suffering and alone again." I heard Levi said. Before everything around me goes black.

 

* * *

 

_"Look at you, you're such a disgrace, because of you I suffered and died. You do not deserve to live. You are a murderer. A MONSTER. you didn't deserve to exist, you shouldn't have existed." My mom said, she was covered in blood and her body was disfigured._

 

_" Wait mom!!" I called out to my mom, but the next thing I saw, was the part I would never forget. There my mom was lying on the floor, filled with blood, lifeless and dull._

 

_I tried to approach her but then dad was infront of me now._

 

_"You, You shouldn't have lived, get away!!! If you didn't exist, she would have been alive. Dad said as he punched me in the face and stomach, I was groaning in pain._

 

_"But now, I'll let that happen, you will not hurt anyone anymore, nor will they ever see you," dad said as he pulled out the kitchen knife in his coat. I tried to run, but I couldn't. I was stuck there, and now I'll die slowly and painfully._

 

_"Goodbye Eren my dad said as he stabbed me in my chest, as I scream in pain._

 

_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

* * *

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I Screamed as I woke up, I breathed heavily as I remembered that dream.

 

"Are you okay dear?" the nurse asked me. I just nodded, she smiled at me and ask if there was something I need, I just ask for a glass of water.

 

"Hey kid, you okay?" I heard a deep voice. I looked up and saw that it was Levi. I just nodded. He just shrugged, and we had our silence.

 

"Where am I?" I asked him.

 

"I brought you to the clinic since you passed-out when we tried walking." he answered.

 

And we were in silence again. The nurse came in, _thank goodness_ , she gave me the glass of water, and told me someone wanted to see me. I just told her to let them in.

 

I regretted my decision, on agreeing it. The people who wanted to see me were: Mikasa and Armin.

 

I looked right away when I saw them.

 

"Eren, we heard from Levi about what happened, were really sorry." Armin said it. Tears were forming in his eyes. I was still silent.

 

_I cursed inwardly, Darn him. I looked to see if he was there but he wasn't, Wow he's fast, wait, what the- that isn't the matter right now?!_

 

"Eren please forgive us. Were really sorry about everything we did. We didn't know anything yet we judged you in a wrong way. Were really sorry. Specially me, I swear Eren I never meant to say that. I was just welled up by falsed emotion." Mikasa said it with tears.

 

"Were really sorry Eren, we promise to make it up to you, please forgive us." Armin said while he was crying. Mikasa was crying too.

 

I want to keep my façade, my mask on so that no one will hurt me anymore, but I couldn't resist this to them, after all they were the only closest friend I had. So, I think this will be better. I would hope that the choice I made today won't make me regret tomorrow.

 

"Fine, I forgive you but if you ever do this again, I will never forgive you anymore. Prove to me that the choice I made today won't make me regret tomorrow." I said to them with tears. They both hugged me, and I miss this feeling, this feeling of being loved, of being in a family.

 

"Thank you so much Eren" Mikasa said, as she tighten the hug.

 

_We hugged in each other's arms like there's no tomorrow._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Next chapter will either be Levi or Mikasa's P.O.V
> 
> see you ^0^


	4. Chapter 4: Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”  
> ― Albert Camus 
> 
> Mark Twain  
> “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”  
> ― Mark Twain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys its me again here's the fourth chapter
> 
> I hope you like it
> 
> Oh, and also, 
> 
> HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY EREN!!!!!

**_LEVI P.O.V_ **

 

 

I quickly walk away from the clinic where the brat, as soon as his 'friends' came in. I went back to the Café where he Erwin and Hange would usually stay. Speaking of the devil, I spot the two when I went inside the café. I ordered black coffee first before I went to their table. As soon as I sat down, Hange quickly went to my side and bombarded me with questions (or sentences).

 

"So Levi, I had heard- no wait I know that you just saved someone. I can see it in your eyes, hmm? So, was he or she cute? Did something in him or her made you see some interest in him or her? Did he or she used some magic on you so that you could save him or her? Or was my Shorstack inlove without our consent? Or did you owe him or her money that yo-ummphh" I shut Hange' mouth before I go crazy with her stupid questions.

 

"Hange when will you ever fucking learn to shut that big mouth of yours?" I said to her she was really annoying me right now.

 

"Well, FYI, shortstack, I learned that you just save someone. And duh, I'm curious about this someone enough to make Levi save him or her. It's like you always have thi I-don't-give-a-shit-to-whatever-fucking-happens-to-you attitude," Hange said that with a bit of sarcasm. _Now, when did she learn to become a sarcastic bitch_. But I was quite shock, to know why she knew that I 'save' someone.

 

"Hange, why the fucking hell did you know that I saved someone, when the last time I checked you were in class. And besides, I might not give a shit, but I'm not heartless enough to let people die, you stupid bitch" I said my words filled with venom as I glared at her.

 

"Well have you ever heard of 'stalking'?~" she said in a sing-sang tone.

 

"How could you follow me when you were in class?" I asked her

 

"Well, I excused myself to use the restroom, and follow you here. Moblit dear was kind enough to copy the notes for me~" she said that with the same tone.

 

"So Levi, you did save a certain 'someone', who is this someone that can make the great Levi Ackerman known as the "School's Master"  give his attention to this person. Now, that's my question" Erwin said as he finally be able to 'exist.'

 

"Oh please, Eyebrows, Like I said I may not give a flying shit but I'm not heartless enough to let other people die." I said.

 

Erwin raised not of his eyebrows, in amusement. 

 

"Wow, Really, I never thought of it, huh? Well, although I can see something in this 'someone' that can make your eyes shine like that. Its been years since the last time I saw your eyes shine like that, Levi. This 'someone' somewhat intrigues me, I'll be hoping to see this person someday." Eyebrows said as he drank his tea.

 

Eyebrows' words sunk deep in my brain. I smirked,  _"oh Erwin, when you see him, you'll be verily interested. Like I have been, when I first meet him."_

 

**Flashback:**

_**Second Month Of School** _

 

_**I was walking down the hallway, when I feel something hard crashed against me, I fell on my ass, Dammit, did I bump into a wall- no it was a bit softer than a wall should be. I looked infront of me to glare at the person bumping into me.** _

 

_**" Aw shit, I'm really sorry I didn't mean to, I wasn't looking, I'm really sorry," He apologized as he get up. I noticed this kid ha messy brown locks, and a tan skin, he was taller than me (Well everybody is), but what catches me the most is his eyes: his left eye has the mixture of green and blue- no wait I think it blue and green, gaah it confusing but its the mixture of the colours blue and green its like the Caribbean sea, his right eye has the golden-amber color that shines like the sun. His eyes complimented his tan skin. All I can say is that this kid is fucking gorgeous. I didn't realize I was staring at him too long until he snapped me out of my reverie.** _

 

_**"Uh, why are you staring at me is their something wrong in my face?" he asks. I snapped out of my imagination.** _

 

_**"You should really watch where you're going, you brat" I said as I glared at him. I was expecting him to cower or run away, but no, instead he glared back at me, much to my surprise.** _

 

_**"Ok, what the fuck, what was the insult for?! I fucking apologized!! And my name isn't brat its Eren, you prick!!" He exclaimed at me. I quirk me eyebrow at him.** _

 

_**"Sorry can't take back on hitting me, dumbass, And who told you to say you're name" I said.** _

 

_**He seemed to have lost it but tried to calm down, a bit.** _

 

_**"Look, I don't have time to do with some of your stupid antics, If you wont accept my apology fine. I don't give a fuck for assholes, anyway" he said as he left.** _

 

_**Since that day I began to take an interest in him** _

 

_**Flashback ends** _

 

I still remember that day, when I was stunned by his courage, some people were intimidated by me just by looking.

 

Since then I follow him anywhere he goes, watch what he does everyday.

 

I  learned this brat was alone and that, he doesn't have anyone beside him, except all by himself.

 

I also learned that this kid's mom was dead, and that he was alone with his father.

 

**_Flashback:_ **

**_I watched him one day 'till he_** _**bumps (or met) into my cousin,**_ _**Mikasa** **,**_ **_and the blonde mushroom coconut, Armin. He_ _was just walking through, when I noticed_ _Mikasa, flew to rage, her shouts_ _attracted students. She held the Brat's shoulders harshly, while the brat just stared at her. Her voice seems to quiet down, I couldn't hear her talking since I'm a bit distant from them, but I did hear what the last thing she said_**

 

**_"You're a Monster a horrifying one" I heard her say, and then she turned her back on him, I was quite shock, 'So this is the reason on why people doesn't to go anywhere near this kid._ **

 

**_I was expecting the brat to cry, but no, he stood there, even from this distance, I could see his eyes frilled with rage, sadness, and depression. He said something I was not expecting to hear._ **

 

**_" Says the people who promised me to take care and help me when I needed them, But where were they? O right, they just look and run away from me, letting me suffer and solve my problems alone. What kind of friends are they anyway? I give them my full trust, but look they just left me. Hahahahhhahaha. TRULY PITIFUL. They were the reason on why I couldn't trust people anymore. So. don't you all dare judge me.They are my friends how could they- oh that's right we weren't friends now because we came to and end. But I don't give a shit about it. But if you say that I don't deserve the people's kindness because I'm a Monster? Then fine I don't. But still if I'm a monster, my friends are devils, they try to act good at first, then they would leave after. I think they're the people who doesn't deserve the people kindness. But if you really don't want me to exist anymore then fine, be my guest"  He said that loud enough for the people to hear. He quickly left. I followed after him. His last words were frightening me a bit inside._ **

 

**_**_'But if you really don't want me to exist anymore then fine, be my guest' It was scaring me to hear someone wants to die do desperately._ ** _ **

 

**_**_I followed him, 'till he stopped on an old abandoned street-bridge. I hid behind a wall to see what he was gonna do. I saw him climbed at the bridge, closing his eyes. My eyes went wide, Fuck this idiot is really gonna suicide?! Shit I need to stop him?!_ ** _ **

 

**_**_I was suppose to yell at him but then, it came out like a statement instead._ ** _ **

 

**_**_"Hey Brat, What the fuck are you doing?" I said as I was still in the darkness, he looked around, and thinking no one was there he tried to do it again. I sighed._ ** _ **

 

**_**_" Hey brat, I sad what the fuck are you doing?"  I said as I came nearer for him to see me. He looked around and he saw me, but when he did his eyes grew huge. He wasn't speaking yet so, I asked him again_ ** _ **

 

**_**_"Hey brat did you hear me? I said what the fuck are you doing, you shit?" Okay, I did not mean the ' you shit' part, that was not my intention. He frowned at me and threw me a look like: its-quite-obvious-I'm-going-to-suicide-dumbass._ ** _ **

 

**_"Can't you see that I'm going to kill myself here, duh?!"_**   ** _Wow this kid still had the courage to be sassy. Now is my time to frown at him._**

 

**_"Well shit Sherlock It's not like I don't know what you're trying to do, you dumb shit, I was meaning on what's your reason for you to want to kill yourself, jeez" I said that to him. I saw him blush from embarrassment, Hmm Cute wait what the-._ **

 

**_"None of your business, now would you please go away. And if you're trying to stop me, there is nothing you can do about it" Well shit it kid, I'm gonna stop whether you like it or not, of course not getting obvious._ **

 

_**"What if  I don't its not any of your business too anyway. And who told you I was gonna stop you from your idiotic suicide plan" I said that to him, to avoid suspicions. I think he lost it because he looked frustrated already.** _

 

_**"Fine, Ugh!!! If you wanna see then fine, If you wanna go, much better. I don't give a shit."  Woah, this kid's really doing it. He closed his eyes one more, he's starting to fall, but I caught him, before he could make it.** _

 

_**"You shitty brat, who also told you to die when I'm here? Help me get you up. You're so fucking heavy" I told him that as I tried to help him up to the bridge. When I got him up he was crying, his tears were full of pain, that I feel sorry for him.** _

 

_**"Oi brat why are you fucking crying?" I told him that, but I already knew the reason, this kid was alone, he needed someone to help him. I just hug him so he could at least feel better.** _

 

_**"Listen brat, I'm not gonna say that you'll be alright, seeing the situation right now, but you have to be strong, in order to fight those problems and doubts. You hear me?" what I told him was true, I might not be promising him that he will be fine but, he have to be strong in order to fight his problems.** _

 

_**I tried to help him stand up, but he seemed dizzy.** _

 

" ** _Hey kid, you okay there?" he nodded at me, but as we started walking, he fell to the ground, I caught him before he hits the floor._**

 

**_"Eren, I'll save you don't worry. You will never be suffering and alone again." I said that to him, hearing it or not, its a promise I will help him in many ways that I can._ **

 

**_I brought him to the school clinic, we let him lay down on the bed. I told the nurse everything after she checked on what happened to Eren. She said that he was overly fatigue, and that he had stress and a panic attack. She told me He would just be fine._ **

 

**_I just waited for him outside to regain his consciousness. I saw Armin and Mikasa coming here._ **

 

**_"What happened to Eren is he alright?" Armin and Mikasa asked in unison. I wanted to snort at them, remembering what just happened in the hallway. I told them he's just fine and that he just passed out. They both sigh in relief._ ** **_Mikasa and Armin sat on the left part of the outside chairs of the clinic, while I was on the right. We were just sitting down when......_ **

 

**_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" We heard Eren scream, I told them to stay, and just wait for me to come out. They hesitated but agreed._ **

 

**_I went inside to check if Eren was okay, I saw his face, he was sweating and he looked scared, the nurse ask him if he was okay , and he nodded. The nurse ask him of he wanted anything but he  just said that he wanted a glass of water. As soon as the nurse left, I went to the bed and asked him._ **

 

**_"Hey kid, you okay?" I asked him he nodded._ **

 

**_"Where am I?" he asked me_ **

 

_**"I brought you to the clinic since you passed-out when we tried walking."**_   _**I answered him.**_

 

_**We had our silence, I walked out of the clinic to go tell Mikasa and Armin to go in.** _

 

_**I quickly went away as they went in.** _

 

_**Flashback Ends** _

 

I looked at the window and noticed that it was getting dark, so I went home.

 

_But I went home with someone or something that I must help, no matter how dangerous it may be._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's for the fourth chapter.
> 
> Sorry for the grammatical errors and errors
> 
> I edited some parts (errors to be exact), because I made this in the middle of the night. And if I still have errors I'm really sorry about it. ^_^!
> 
> Did you like it?
> 
> Anyways, you must be wondering where Levi's coffee went right?
> 
> Well, let's just say that I kinda forgot it. 
> 
> But just insert the coffee where Erwin talked. hehehe
> 
> Also take note: The suicide plan happened in the morning, but it just happened In a dark abandoned street-bridge ( its a mixture of a street and a bridge)


	5. Chapter 5: We Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes it's easy to forget how much you miss people until you see them again.”  
> ― Colleen Hoover, Ugly Love
> 
> “All the beauty that's been lost before wants to find us again”  
> ― U2
> 
> Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.  
> \- Dalai Lama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Mikasa's P.O.V
> 
> It's about the things in the past then to the present, about what happened between Eren, herself, and Armin's friendship. (or something like that)
> 
> Hope you'll like it.

**_MIKASA'S P.O.V_ **

 

We are still here hugging each other like we had never seen each other in years. Well truth to be told, it is like that it's been long since we saw Eren with us, not ignoring each others anymore. And it makes me feel happy, that it makes me want to cry in joy. _Oh Eren, how we missed you so much._

 

We finally let go of each others embrace, we looked at each other and smiled.

 

"So, how's the life going on with you two, when I wasn't there" Eren asks us.

 

"Nothing much really. It was just simple, do homework, study, eat, sleep, take a shit or whatever more" I answered him.

"But to tell you, honestly Life was boring without you" I said that to him looking at his eyes. He smiled at me.

 

"What about you, Eren? How was your life?" I asked him. I noticed his body tensed up, It's like his nervous or something.

"Is everything ok Ere-" He cut me off before I finished.

 

"Ahahaha.... Y-Y-Yeah, L-life was a bit sad, and l-lonely" He stutters, I want to ask him if he was really ok, but then Armin nudge me in the side to tell me to stop.

 

We had our silence for a bit, and I couldn't swallow the guilt that was still in me, I never should have said it. Those were just words but they could hurt like a bitch.

 

I went to Eren again and hugged him tight, I started crying, feeling heavy because of guilt.

 

"H-h-hey M-Mikkasa, are you alright? Why are you crying? Are you in pain?" Eren asked me. I shook my head.

 

"I'm really, really sorry, Eren, I never should have said those vile words, you don't deserve them, I deserve those words" I said as I tried to stop crying, again.

 

"Hey Mikasa it's alright I forgave you already, alright. So stop crying"

"But Ere-" He hushed me again.

"Shh, its alright, okay Mikasa? It's fine I already forgave you, and Armin too. So it's alright, 'kay?" He said that to me.

 

"So guys how did you know I was with Levi, when I was brought here?" He asked us.

 

"Well actually Eren, When Mikasa and I were going crazy looking for in hours, we saw Levi carrying you to the clinic so yeah," Armin said.

 

"Yeah, we went crazy because when you said, 'If you really don't want me to exist, well be my guest' then you ran off. It took a few minutes for us to register what you said, but when we did you were already gone, we tried looking everywhere for you...

 

_**FLASHBACK** _

 

_**"If you really don't want me to exist, well be my guest" After Eren said his last words, we were stopped in our tracks. 'Wait, what?'** _

 

_**I tried to process what Eren just said, but I couldn- Wait no, He couldn't mean that he wants to-** _

 

_**I looked at Armin with a terrified look, and so did he.** _

 

_**"A-A-Armin d-did you think about what Eren said t-that h-h-he wants to suicide?" I choke out. Our eyes went wide,  when looked back you were gone. We tried looking for you everywhere, but you were never found.** _

 

_**We tried asking the other students if they saw you, but they didn't know where you were. And that's what we fear the most. 'What if you died? Its all my fault'** _

 

_**I started crying, it's been three hours since the last time we saw you, we didn't bother entering any of our classes. We were starting to get hopeless, when we saw a familiar figure, on the hallways passing. It was Levi Ackerman. We saw him carrying something, or should I say someone. We went closer, to see who Levi, my cousin, was carrying. When we got  a bit closer, we saw that it was you so we followed him.** _

 

_**We saw him get inside, the clinic, we just waited for him outside so we could ask. A few minutes passed, Levi Finally went outside. We asked how was your condition. He looks at us first before answering. He said that you passed out. When we heard this we were a bit relieved. We sat on one of the chairs in the side of the clinic, waiting for you to wake up.** _ _**We waited a few minutes, 'till we heard you scream. We wanted to go inside and check you, but Levi said, that we'll just stay and wait for him to go out so we could get in. We hesitated for a bit, but we agreed.** _

 

_**He went inside to check you, we waited for him, outside, after a few minutes of waiting, he went out he said that we could go in. We went inside, we told the nurse that we wanted to see you, and when she said that you agreed, she let us come in and there we started this.** _

 

_**FLASHBACK ENDS** _

 

After hearing what I said Eren gave us a small smile.

 

"Might I ask?" Eren said.

 

Armin and I just nodded.

 

"Ok, I don't mean this of being rude, bit its only for clarification, alright? So guys, why did you leave me alone, when I needed you? Why were you so far away from me in those times?" Eren asks us.

 

"Eren, we really didn't mean too, at all, it was just that, you were fading away from us Eren. We thought that you would not want us anymore as friends, so we decided to be away from you. We didn't know that you were actually suffering." Armin answered him, while I nodded in agreement.

 

"Oh" Eren said.

 

"Look, Eren, were really sorry, about everything. Were truly sorry, we'll make it up to you."

 

"Oh no, no need its really okay, as long as the apology is sincere, that is good enough" Eren smiled at us, ' _Oh Eren how we missed your smile'_

 

We smiled at him, and hugged him again.

 

"We missed you Eren," Armin and I said.

 

"So did I" Eren said as he held us closer, making the hug tighter.

 

_Were finally back the three of us are together again, I feel soo happy_.

 

* * *

But little did they know, that happiness can only last awhile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok that's it.
> 
> oh yeah about the ending, uh yeah, hihihihi
> 
> Oh and also, hope you like my story.
> 
> Sorry about some errors that may have been in there.


	6. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> I am so sorry

Hello everyone, it has been too long since I have updated no?

I am really sorry......

I am having complications here. My oeoblems in school, home, and more... And I am also dealing with depression and anxiety.

I'm sorry if it isn't the update you wanted. And that you might think that what kind of author am I. I didn't update since, and now, I'm just posting Author's Note. I'm so sorry for disappointing you all. You might not like my stories now, but I understand.

I... I will let one of my relatives do another story...

It's going to be great.....

They are going to use my account for it.

They shall make stories and even accept favors for you....

I'm really truly sorry...

I hope you forgive me

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like the story? I hope its okay. Sorry if I have grammatical errors
> 
> I'll update this story as fast as I can.
> 
> Farewell. ^_^


End file.
